I want to say,… I know it doesn’t. If you respect, you’ll love unconditionally without so much as a thought of hurting the one you love. If you respect the one you love then love will be abundant, uninterrupted by meaningless distractions of any kind. Loving the person you’re with means respecting them, upholding their honor, and not allowing anyone to talk shit about that person or hurt the person in anyway.
I struggled with whether or not to share very personal details about my life with the readers of my blog. Friends who know me, I mean really know me, know that I’m extremely private about my life. I’m one of those people who, if/when I call you, you know I absolutely need you. So when I told my close friends + family what I’m about to share with you, they were speechless.
LOL, sometimes, I feel when things happen to me it happens as though it’s written for the movies—good or bad. Which is the reason why, I feel, when I have good things happen to me, it happens in an epic way, like the birth of my daughter for example. Conversely, when bad things happen to me, like what I will share with you, it too, happens in an epic way, too.
There are so many emotions going through my mind as I write this. My first instinct is to not disclose my personal issues on such a public platform. However, I have taken solace in reading shared experiences by others who have been in the situation I find myself. The world in which we live in today is one that’s so compounded by so many things that could, if not strong enough, break a human soul.
Thankfully, I’m not so easily broken.
Thankfully, my parents raised me to not be so easily broken, especially my mom who taught me the fundamentals of being a strong, upstanding individual with a strong sense of right and wrong, and the ability to know what I want and need for myself to survive as an individual and what I need / want from someone else. The payoff of those early moral seeds my mom planted in me at such an early age has made me a very well-rounded, extremely emotionally intelligent and independent, self-respecting, loving + caring and loyal individual with a great sense of pride in the things I’ve accomplished in my short 32 years on this amazing planet. A person who loves and respect.
Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for some people especially the person I’d been exclusively dating and living with for nearly three years, or I thought I was. Recently, I found out my boyfriend, the man I share my daughter with has been having a yearlong affair with a woman from work. Now, I’m not going to go into details, but I can tell you the details are so juicy that I’m writing a book about my experience.
At this point, I have moved on to a better life with my amazing daughter. I mostly decided to share this because I feel as though if I didn’t it would mean that I was ashamed about what happened to me. The only thing I did wrong was love a man that didn’t respect me enough to love me back. Or love me enough to respect me.
I’m not ashamed because I didn’t do anything wrong.
Today, as I share this, I have a profound sense of closure and hope in the future with my daughter. Life from this moment forward is going to be much, much sweeter because I know that I have made my family and most importantly my daughter proud because I live my life with uttermost integrity and self-respect. I have a solid center and a strong moral compass that is not easily swayed.
How am I coping? Well, you know, like I said when you have that rock-solid foundation that parents instill in their kids at such a young age, you can pretty much can handle anything life and idiotic people throw at you.
The most important thing is that I now have the privilege of passing on those same core values that my mom taught me to my own daughter so that when she’s old enough to make a decision, hopefully not one having to deal with a situation like this, irrespective of how difficult it is or how many factors are involved, she’ll be emotionally intelligent and strong enough to make a firm decision without any wavering thoughts. And that’s exactly how am handling it—keeping my eye on the ultimate prize, aka, Arianna. I have the most important thing anyone could ever wish for, a daughter that will grow up to be a woman and a mother. I am so truly blessed to be raising a daughter who will have the same core values and morals I have, thanks to my mom.
Thanks to my family + friends for all your support. And thanks for reading my story.I love you.